Just a quick pic post...no deep thoughts involved

AM in her 'jumpa jump" that her and Daddy made a slide out of while we waited for the poolwater to heat up.










We had a little picnic out on the porch at am's new picnic table. Thanks to Nana for that cute find. She loves it! It spent most of the weekend parked in the living room in front of the TV...until today.











Just a good Dorito face shot! Plus the pretty blue eyes!












Dinner and dancing! Ok well, lunch and then shaking your booty on the deck, but fun all the same!


I had another pic on here, but blogger ate it. Maybe tomorrow. Anyway we had a nice relaxing day hanging by the pool. Baby pool, but oh well! Working on my tan...or growing my freckles together, one of the two.

Porching, taking life slow.....and visiting with neighbors...

We go out about everyday to watch for our people to get home from work. Here she is looking for cars to come down the road. I give her a heads up when I hear a car. We can always hear Mamaw when she turns the corner, however. Yep Mamaw's got some pipes on her truck. hee hee....of the whole group, she's the last one you'd expect to have a "loud" car. In this particular pic tho, it's Daddy coming up the drive......




Here's the setup for listening to some good bedtime tunes. I think I"ve heard "This Little Bed" a few thousand times now. She can just listen to it over and over. She's become the queen of stalling at bedtime, but sometimes it's just sooo darn sweet.






Here I had told her I had to go make dinner and she hopped up on the couch and started reading a book. I was in shock and had to take a picture since usually she follows me to the kitchen and ask tons of questions until I ignore her and she goes off to play. Soooo nice when they actually do something you want them to once in awhile.





Then she realized I was taking pictures and had to pose and be a cheezer. Whatta little ham! She's reading Bambi by the way. Having a Bambi kick over here, lately. When she watches the movie, and it comes to the part where the mama deer is killed. She hears the gunshot and says, "Bambi pooted?" We always say Yes! Then when he's searching for his mom, she keeps asking, "Where's mother?" Soooo sad. I have to just tell her she must be lost. At which I get a strange look....


This little guy decided to join us last night in our porching. I guess you could call him a neighbor. He was hanging out in the front yard, possibly in a gopher hole. There are few animals I want to see killed....but snakes, any snakes are on that list! He's a bullsnake and about 5 1/2 feet long. He's the 2nd biggest one we've seen out here. We will tread lightly in the dark, and try to remember those darn flashlights!


So we're staying home a lot more, and just taking it easy. When you are out in the country, there is always something to do outside in the evening once it cools off a bit. And if there's not anything, then there is always porching.

A splatter of my mind onscreen, and just for you!

This is what AM looks like on cleaning day. She gets out the vacuum to "help" me clean which last about 10 minutes. Then she looks like this. For those who don't know, our TV is over that way. Bambi played twice today, but the house is very clean.






How stinking cute are these? Ok, they aren't the best looking shoes in the world, but they are great on my bad foot, and the matching pair for little me are adorable!!! Thanks Mamaw!

These are perfect for running to the mailbox, or walking back and forth to the grandparent's house.

Oh and they go good with that dress she had on and with lots of dirt of course. Very patriotic, too.

I finally saw it and got the confirmation. I was brushing along and saw the little white source of all our pain, misery, and whining lately. The tooth, the two-year molar tooth. My child used to sleep in till about 10am every day, and now she's up with the chickens...6, 7, maybe 8 if we're real super duper lucky. I wanted a new schedule, but not this one! Hopefully after these teeth come in she will sleep in till the decent hour of at least 8 everyday, preferably 9.

Ok that's my gripe for the day..had to get it out.

Tonight we were sitting on the porch over at the folks house (porching is a sport around here) and Miss Murry decide to just take off toward the house....and we let her go just to see if she would go by herself. She walks all the way over to our house (like a couple hundred feet away). She walks up on the porch, and pushes her bubble mower over to the other end, grabs a few rocks and then brings them all the way back over to us. Ummmm when did she get big enough to do that? She looked so very tiny walking allll the way over there by herself.

Back to "porching", does anyone else make a sport out of this? We used to at the lakehouse, which is sadly missed at times. Now we have a couple big porches around and we tend to gather on them everyday after work. Murry watches for the trucks to come home. Mamaw, Papaw, Daddy, and Uncle Ricky.... Almost seems like I should have me 5 or 6 kids just to fill up these big porches, right?

I try very hard to be one who is grateful for what I have. I try to take pleasure in my daily rounds. This can be challenging when your daily round is about the same. Cleaning, cooking, laundry, and taking care of a little one. Most of the time I love it, but sometime I miss the recognition I got from a job outside the home. There was the money, all the apprecitation from my students and their parents. Not to mention the other teachers. But there are a few hundred things I DO not miss about teaching, and the thought of leaving my kiddo with someone else all day....I just don't think I could do it. I'm not ready yet. The first day of school will be very, very hard....for me.

A few of those things I do not miss:

• GRADING papers!
• paperwork, paperwork, paperwork...
• super challenging behavior problems...and I'm not talking 'a little ornery' here
• recess duty!!
• lack of funds for meeting objectives that are required..not to mention for anything "extra"
• gripy parents who do not hold their kids responsible for bad behavior/late work/ disrespect, etc.
• personally...having to get up and be all "made-up" and ready to go by 7:30. Yucko!

Things that ROCK about being a mom:

• the love
• the sweet/tender moments
• watching them grow and change
• being home with her/not missing out on the "firsts"
• playdates
• storytime

I could go on all day, but we all know that this post is getting terribly long. And those who know me well, know I should go to bed already. So g'night and I'll leave you with this thought...

If nothing changes, nothing changes. -a lady from WW's

Teething bites..

if you know what I mean. Anyone with a kiddo under the age of 2 probably does. If you want to know how today went....look down a couple posts. She was Miss Turkey today. Did okay till about 12 or 1 pm. The rest of the day, including her 30 minute nap...was a gonner. It was one of those days where you just can't wait for the sweet relief of bedtime. which finally came a little after 9. I was afraid to go any earlier since I'm not fond of being woke up before 6am. So we're due for a good day tomorrow, right?

This little bed....

Friday we had a playdate and grocery shopping date with the 2T's...Trisha and Tally. Is this not the sweetest, most peaceful, thing you have ever seen...like ever? The girls had so much fun playing together. Ann-Maries kept saying, " Tally in the bedroom" which is AM speak for c'mon Tally get in here...
All in all a nice day, but we did keep them out at the store too long and had a couple meltdowns right at the end which resulted in this....T was out before we got out of the parking lot and AM was just right behind her. Ahh the blessed silence of the sleeping babes....




This is my little cowgirl. She's so into trying on my shoes and now she's getting into sunglasses. She picked out this pair herself. :D Doesn't she look proud of herself? And those are my new house-shoes that they got me for Mother's Day! My other ones were about 5 years old!















More of my girl just goofing out.

She's wearing Uncle Ricky's colors. We thought of him when we picked up this OSU dress. Always been more of an OU girl myself. Mostly because I like red more than orange.....not the best reason to pick a team. Hmmm hmmm Anyhow since Uncle Ricky goes to OSU now, we have gotten her lots of orange OSU stuff. She got compliments from many ppl while we were out today. I guess the OU fans were nice enough to keep their mouth closed.

D & I were talking today about how she seems like a girly girl one day, and a little tomboy the next. I hope she stays that way. Secure in that she's a woman, but unafraid to do whatever she wants to do. Right now that boils down to eating dirt, and sticking it in her diaper, but you know what I mean.





Things that make you go AWWWW...well maybe not you, but me for sure

Tonight as I was sitting down to get my computer warmed up for the evening....just about Murry's bedtime, she comes in and asks me in just the sweetest voice, "Mama go play in the bedroom?" Now how could I resist that? Couldn't. So I went in to see what we would "play". I try to let her lead. She wanted to sit in the tent. So we got some pillows and a few stuffed animals. She wanted to sing songs, so we turned the light out, and put the pixie lamp on and sang away. Then I remembered seeing one of her CD's laying around, so I went to grab it and we listened to some Toddler Tunes! She thought that was just the coolest. I haven't had them out because the last time I tried, she just wasn't interested at all. Well that has changed for sure! She could have listened to them all night. I had to promise to sing one at bedtime since we were moving that way. I had to listen to it several times to get part of it down because it went pretty fast. It's called, This Little Bed, and she just loooooved it. It made her want to get in her little bed and go to sleep. She told me...my little bed mama...i go sleep! *crocodile tear*

Those are the moments that make it bearable when she's being a total turkey! We won't mention those in this post and bring down the sweet factor.

What do you do the parents are busy?

Well play in the dirt of course.....
Put it in your hair..and down your dress......and in your diaper.....
Throw it on the dog..... Eat a little bit of it... mmmmmmmm goood!

What does Mom do? Grabs the camera for a little photo shoot of the grubbygirl of course!


This was the day of 2 showers, but it sure beat yesterday.

And no one can say I don't do a short post.....occasionally.... :)

Some days your the windshield, some days your the fly...

Some days your kid cries at the drop of the hat making you feel like that fly splattered there on the windshield. So in short my day with AM was not the best one.

We ran errands today. Just a few things I've been putting off.... There are always some of those. I did make it by the veggie stand and pick up the lt to make blt's. I had bought some very lean turkey bacon...I do not recommend it. Next time I'll try the fattier turkey bacon or the leaner pork bacon. I did make a super duper find. It's this Yogurt cheese. It comes in jalepeno and garlic and takes the place of mayo or cream cheese. It made the yummy list and is .....drumroll....0 POINTS!

Top ten reasons to have a meltdown today:

• You can't lay on the dog
• You can't pull the dog's tail
• You want sunglasses that mama mentioned getting
• You can't put your sunglasses on...
• but you don't want "help" either with putting them on
• You don't like lettuce and you're crazy mom put some on your blt sandwich
• You have to eat some sandwich b4 you get chips..
• Your Papaw wants to show you a bird..
• and he wants you to ride the tractor which you usually Loooove ...
• You are cutting some teeth and your mom has a limited amount of patience available.

Ok, so she really only had 4 meltdowns today, but we get by with none or 1 so it was a long day with a short nap. And I love her, and I'm so lucky to have her.... Doesn't mean I have to love the tantrums...and you can't make me!!!!

So that was the shit list...

Now here's the sweet list....and funny...

• Today once she grabbed my face and planted a big one right on my lips....for no reason at all
• She called her Uncle Ricky a "gomer Pyle" all on her own...that is just one of those priceless moments..
• Tonight when I sang to her, she said, "that's a cool song" crack me up! (oh it was Amazing Grace...her new favorite)

The sweet list is shorter, but each one of those is worth more.....

Uncle Ricky was giving Mom a hard time cause I had her sit in the car so I didn't have to drag her out, again! He was out there mentioning Papaw and Mamaw was telling him to nix it. Well when he walks away...Murry says, "Gomer Pyle" It just cracks me up that she is learning when to use some of these phrases.

On the cool song thing...I had told her that earlier about a song I was singing. I just needed to sing and she associates it with me wanting her to sleep. Which is oh so very upsetting sometimes. She loves it at bedtime, but not in the car....goober.

Having another calgon night! How did I make it without this tub? Next step...someday far into the future....a hot tub!

The Recipes I've been teasing you with...

The wraps aren't really a recipe per say, but something I threw together.....

Wraps made on a whim
1 flatout lite bread--found in the deli section...1pt.
2 thin slices of ham---cover the wrap 1 pt.
1/2 chicken breast cut into strips......1.5pts ( i use frozen and heat it for 1 minute)
2 tbsp. lowfat shredded cheese..... 1pt.

Heat for a minute or so till cheese melts.

then add
lots of lettuce
onion
cilantro
1 tbsp of raspberry vinegrette dressing .5 pts.

wrap up, cut in half and dig in! The dressinig and fresh cilantro make it yummy! I see so many possibilities with these little wraps. They are huge for 1 pt. and tasty!

Pineapple Angelfood Cake
(got this tip at my WW meeting)

Buy a 1 step Angelfood cake mix. Follow directions except substitute 1 20 oz can crushed pineapple for the water. (this makes it moist so you don't need anything with it) That's it! So Light and tasty. D ate the whole cake, tho. I had put it in 2 pans thinking it might spill over. It didn't. Mom and I ate the pieces in the small pan..not much. Then D came home and ate most of the other one, and finished it in the morning. That is my goal, though, to find lowfat recipes that we both like so we can change our way of eating.

Cake makes 12 servings. 3 pts. per serving. (depending on the brand of mix you buy, i guess)

Last night I made Enchilada Soup (per Trisha) and veggie fajitas. Yummmmmmy! A very tasty dinner for about 9 points! Tonight is my meeting, so wish me luck! I'm gonna need it after the size of the cake and ice cream I ate on Sunday...not to mention the chips and salsa, and hot links, and shish-ka-bobs..... Oh well next week is a new week, if I didn't lose this week, I will next week.

I'll let you know later.

The long post with 3 parts.....

The Great Getaway

Mama got to sleep in while Daddy and the lil'un went to do their Mother's Day shopping. Then we headed over to see Uncle Ricky's new truck. Very nice, fancy, and makes me miss my leather from my Explorer. I just loved that smell. Mmmmm... Then the Mam and I headed out for lunch and some shopping. Good fun! We were Mother's Day shopping and had bought Nana some gifts, and who do we see....Nana. So we did a little hiding and a even a bit of running...hee hee...and we got away from her.

How Many Times Did I Say Yummy?

Then Miss Murry fell asleep on the way home, and I finally got some garage sale stuff ready while she napped away. I woke her up at 5 and finished my little job while she drew on the sidewalk with her chalk. Then we went over to Mamaw's to visit and she ended up coming over here for dinner. I made us some of those yummy wraps that I wrote about earlier. We have 4 votes now, so it's official...they are yummy...and only 5 points! Whoohoo! See, see how fun my life is.... I say that like I'm kidding, but truly, I love my life.

I also made a pineapple angelfood cake which also turned out to be very yummy. It was so yummy, that D ate about 8 servings when he got home!

Rocking Chairs, Rocking Babies.....

I need a new rocking chair in a bad way....
Murry and I are gonna rock out into the floor one of these days. The one I have now was given to us by D's uncle. I have rocked it, until parts have been falling off, and now something is just not right...it really tries to dump us out in the floor. It truly makes bedtime an adventure. I love our rocking time, and I'm not ready to give it up. I don't want to be rocking her to bed when she's in middle school or anything, but I feel like kiddos only want to cuddle with their mommies for such a short time. I want to cherish this time...and I want to do it without worrying about being thrown out the window...ha ha! So hopefully soon, we will go get a new rocker...maybe even one with a footstool this time! Whooohooo! Tonight she wanted me to read to her....I love it when she wants me...I'll just admit it! Sometimes she wants Daddy and I try to big about it, but he doesn't even really want to do it...anyway.... So this is my secret weapon...now shush ya'll don't be telling him. She likes her mama to sing to her and rub her hair after we read. She likes to ask me to sing "Sunshine" and "Amazing Grace"....and the "Rocking Chairs" which I totally made up since I just can't remember any other good bedtime songs. I guess I need to pull out the lullabye CD again. I know there were a few on there that I really liked. If you have some suggestions....feel free to share.

It's funny, huh...how in some ways I push her to grow up so fast, and in others I want to keep her little as long as possible. I'm sure when # 2 comes along, it'll rock both our worlds...all of them really. I mean can you ever really be prepared for all that comes with a new baby....I doubt it. I think the best thing to do is hang on, enjoy the ride, and know that you get your identity and some of your life back as years go on. Heck, I may not even want it back when the time comes. I mean, for real, I dig this "mom" gig. :-D

Ok so when she moves to her "big" girl bed....I might quit rocking her at bedtime....maybe....
Or we may just have to get 2 rocking chairs.....hee hee, nah....


Already trying to walk in Mama's shoes.....

Naps Rule and Schedules do not!

I've been trying to get the girl on a decent schedule like we used to have. Well I had it going, then I thought we would take a nap together today because we were just so darn tired. I'll just lay down here for a few minutes.... Well she was out in about 2 and I was not far behind and it turned into a 2 hour nap. Ahhhh.....

Lisa and Logan came over today to play....and I forgot to take pics! Shame on me. But the kids had fun! They played hard. There was lots of running and silliness. There was a small accident that AM was still talking about at dinner when she showed her Daddy her boo-boo from falling on the carpet. Logan showed me how unbabyproofed the house is...lol.... He is happy lil guy! I made some wraps for lunch that were yummy, if I do say so myself. The kiddos enjoyed some chicken, corn, and grapes. The corn and grapes were new stuff for Logan, but he seemed to really like them. We went over to my mom's yard to play for a while, where both kiddos were having fun, but they started getting red in about 15 minutes...so we headed back in. Sorry I didn't take pics.....so forgetful sometimes.

Miss Murry was a sweetie this evening. She loves to run in circles saying "chickie, chickie" till she falls down laughing so hard that she can barely breathe. It's just good fun to get in the floor with her and laugh till my sides hurt. She spent most of her evening at the pond with Daddy fishing. Rather he fished and she threw rocks in the pond. But when she came over she told me how she touched the fish....his teeth, his eye, and his belly....ewwwwww..... Then she said "I'm hungy, want raviolis" I'm still getting used this talking in sentences, and having her own opinions and such. I love it! WElllll most of the time. So I took her in and washed the fishfunk off of her and got ther girl her raviolis. I think she was a little disappointed that they were cheese and not the beef ones she usually has, but she ate most of them. Then Daddy popped out and ice cream cone. She says, "ices cream cone...mmmmmm......that's gooood" And then I know she ate more than her half of it.

I'm just living out here in my bubble. Working on getting my house in order. Focusing on what is good in life.......I remember now why I love living in the country so much.

Another good day with Mom and Murry...

Fun with all my girls!

Well it has been a few days.....
First last night was the first MNO in a while......Lots of fun with the gals! All things discussed among the moms stay among the moms, so you won't get the dish from me. Here are a few pics though. Trisha was MIA on a trip to OKC, but hopefully she'll be there next time!




Miss Jami checking out the pics on her camera!












Lisa, who I hope is still my friendafter I post this
one.....I just love the face she's making here.....
we had all been laughing so hard...













And Sheresa who didn't want her pic taken...but I snuck one..hee hee








This was right after I left my WW meeting where I was down 1.8lbs! whoohoo!
Hoping I can make a 2 week in a row loss! I'm starting to get the hang of it better.....what can I say I'm slow. I love my WW leader. She is just such a positive person.

AM and I have been playing Hide and Seek. She does fine when I hide. She comes looking for me and I may have to say, "where is mommy" to get her moving in the right direction. Now when it comes to her hiding...it's hilarious. She hides in the same spot everytime! She says, 'I go hide, in my tent." Then right before you "find" her, she pops and "scares" you. I don't know who taught her the rules of Hide'n'Seek, but it is so cute to watch. We played today for at least 45 minutes and she would have went on forever it seems if I hadn't insisted that it was naptime.

And she ate like a little piggy today....

• bowl of cereal..same size as my bowl
• slice of banana-nut bread
• ham and cheese sandwich
• fruit cup
• sausage biscuit
• banana
• raviolis
• chips
• a few bites of my sandwich
• little debbie cookie--a big one!
• a few bites of cake

Does this sound normal to you for such a little person? Plus she still drank 2 cups of milk! She kept asking for more, more, more. I finally said...you've had enough baby girl. Maybe it's a growth spurt since she did take an extra long nap today, too!

More pics and info tomorrow....getting very sleepy...

Little ears are listening......always....

Good day with the grunyun today. She seemed much more like her self. She actually let me get some things done. We did things together off/on without complete meltdowns when Mama had to move along. She's getting on a better shedule which means I can too. whoohooo!

We worked around here this morning, then headed to town (yes we're countryfolk) for a few errands. We came home just in time for Murry's nap. Then I worked on the floors for 1/2 the nap and got in some computer time for the other half. I'm working on my addictions. See how I compromised..with myself...

Tonight I fixed dinner for all the family and I'm digging this living next door to the parents. I know Murry loves seeing Mamaw and Papaw everyday. What a lucky little girl she is.....

I've had to change my language since AM has become a speaker. Instead of calling ppl bad names when they hack me off (cuz yes i do talk to myself) I call them names like dork, goober, and gomer. Well the other night walking back over form my Mom's I called our dog gomer because he was barking at us. Then AM pipes up....Gomer Pyle....LOL..... She's listening even more than I ever think she is. She's at the age where she says the funniest things. We have a couple of books memorized and she has a line out of each page. My favorite is Lovebug....

You're my little Lovebug
My cuddly kangaroo
My funny bunny sweet as honey
All of this is true

You're my Lovey Dovey
My stinker winker bear
My silly, willy
Picadilly
Alligator Stare.....

The red are her line that she reads from a couple of the pages .....just sort of melts my heart....she's growing up so fast. Then she also thinks that if she doesn't read her part, that she can stretch out bedtime. She's so into stalling. I want water. I want to lay on the pillow. Hold me, Mommy. I guess this too will pass, right? I hope anyway. I like bedtime to be fun, and sweet, but not an hour long. My goal is about 30 minutes from the time I walk back to get on the PJ's. I've been making my time most nights, but she isn't happy about it. I know I can't please her all the time, but every once in a while I say screw it and just do whatever it is she is wanting. I think that's okay. Sometimes it's just more Mommytime......which I can handle...:-D

My furry little passenger..

One day I went out to get something from my car and noticed that Miss AM's carseat cushion had a little hole and some stuffing coming out. Hmmmm. I had just washed it, but I figured I wouljd have noticed that. A critter did cross my mind since I have one who is munching all the shoelaces on the front porch. Being as forgetful as I am or have become, I just moved along...

A few days later I went back to my car (no i haven't left the house much lately) and much to my surprise (since I'm so very forgetful) this little critter has eaten more of the carseat, left little terds everywhere, and destoyed one Princess sippy cup. I guess all that cotton he was chewing on made the little guy thirsty. Here I was trying to leave, headed to town to eat lunch with my mom.....and I now officially have a mouse or worse yet, a rat in my car. Oh joy of all joys! Well rather than acting all girly and making D come home to rid me of my vermin, I decide to drive to the shop and let them take car of it there. So I have to strap AM into the disgusto carseat(I did wipe out the terds) and drive and pray that the little shit doesn't run across her or up my leg....
Holy crap, that was the looongest 15 minute car ride EVER! About half-way I heard the turkey start squeaking and he kept it up the rest of the drive..... Then right as I rounded the corner into town, I see a brown blur streak across the passenger floorboard. Oh My Gosh! Now he was up in the dash area somewhere. Yikes!

I made it though without touching him. I took my dad's truck and went and got 3 traps. Two of the sticky kind and one rat spring trap. I got the rat one just to be on the safe side. Well he at the bologna off that trap and pooped on it! Apparently he wasn't heavy enough to set it off. Well he may have won that one, but the sticky trap got him, and he turned out to be a little brown mouse. I felt sort of bad for him stuck there in all that sticky. Those sticky traps work great, but they aren't the most humane thing. Poor D had to do the dirty deed and he didn't like it at all. I guess the little guy made the move with us and got caught up in the car. Well maybe he shoulda just stayed behind at the rentplace......

Update on AM:
She is still cutting those delightful molars. Which means that my sweet little girl has been taken over by aliens. She is whiny, clingy, and hardheaded. I do so hope it passes. At least the fever has passed. She ran that for about 3 days....which was worrying me.

OCD, ADD, and BVD's

What does it mean when you can't go to bed until you've checked all the locks twice? And all the remotes on the table have to face the same way...and certain doors open and certain ones shut....
There can't be even 1 dish in the sink. Yes I will actually lay there and think about that dish until it drives me silly and I get up, wash it, and put it away...then I can sleep. The other night when there was a decent mess and I was oh so tired, I thought I'll just go to bed and get it in the morning, but the little voice in my head started talking....oh you hate mornings......it'll just take a minute(yeah right--30 minutes)....you know you won't be able to fall asleep. So I got up and cleaned it allll up.

I was one of those kids who didn't know for sure what color carpet I had in my room. Hmmm maybe I didn't want to know since my mom(who i love dearly) had chosen a pink carpet. She will argue coral, but isn't coral just a shade of pink anyhow? Anyhow my cleanliness was lacking. it got so bad in there that I couldn't stand it and would sleep on the couch for a few nights till I gave it up and cleaned from top to bottom(usually at about 2 am one night).

Somewhere along the way I have improved my cleaning abilities. Not that my house is perfect, but I think my mom feared that I'd be one of those people who just had a path to walk through the house, or just crap everywhere.....

We've moved into the new house, but we're not settled entirely. My garage is still full of stuff. Most of it that I just want to get rid of. Garage sale, here I come! I want to simplify our lives as much as possible. The less stuff I have to move around to dust, the better.

I can come to terms with certain messes...like the one taking over my garage. But some things drive me bonkies!

The OCD should be obvious though I don't truly think I have it....the ADD would be the way my brain is skipping over topics tonight, and that just leaves BVD's....aka the big girl panties....

The news on that is that mine are getting to big..Whooohooo! Time for some new ones. For once I'm not getting too big for my britches, they are getting too big for me.

Too little.......

Between sleep deprivation and today's funeral, I am one wiped out chickie. Miss Murry decided that it would be fun to get up at 5:30 this morning.....for the day. Little turkey! She has been a complete toot as I fully expected with that wake-up time. She did nap for a couple hours around noon, and is already tucked in for the night as I plan to do to myself as soon as I finish up here.

The funeral was a nice one as far as funerals go. There was a lot of people who came to show their respects and lots of nice things said about my dear cousin. I got to see all the family on that side, but that is definitely not how you want to get together. I do wonder what happens when some mean old fart dies? Do people show up? Do they make up things to say. All of the funerals I've ever been to have been people who had lots of family and friends. And they were good people, so it was easy to say nice things about them. Just makes me wonder....

We went back to my aunt's house for a bit and I looked through some old picture albums. There were 4 of us cousins born in the same year and then a 'step' cousin I guess you'd call her since she was married into the family later on. Anyhow I guess it must have been a fertile year in our family. So there were lots of pics of us kids. The most popular was of us standing out in front of the flowerbeds cheezin out. I say this since there were several of us at different ages doing just that. Murry definitely looks like her mama a lot and somewhat like an older cousin of mine. I see some Daddy in her now and again, but I see a lot of me. There was one particular "look" in a picture that is just so the same. I see it all the time on the face of my little sugar buga. Anyway the pictures were a nice walk down memory lane.

As a little tribute...I'm gonna post all the memories I have of times spent with my dear cousin who will be missed.

• Lots of time swimming together...her pool, our pool, the lake.....
• A super fun camping trip with all of us cousins together.....think 4th of July....long weekend....and we were still young enough to think that camping in a tent was "fun".
• So many nights spent over at grandma's house together that I couldn't possibly count. It was right up Granny's alley. She had us girls there for company and we would keep her up till 1 or 2 am and then she'd just give it up and get up. She'd say well while I'm up, what do you girls want to eat? I always took some cheesedip and chips and Stacy had icing on crackers. That sounds easy enough except that none of it came from a can.....all homemade. Gran would say, "while I'm up a minute I'll eat a bowl of bran cereal and play a game of checkers" or she might sit and read the bible while we played. She never got mad at us for staying up late, which was so sweet of her.
• Walking to Sonic while we were at Granny's for a week and needed our fast food fix.
• Hours spent on the merry-go-round at the park......just waiting to see who would turn green in the face first....almost always her...hee hee
• Playing school and talking about how one day we both would be teachers.....
• The time I talked her into "borrowing" my aunts truck and driving up to the 7-11.......when we were 14......these things do have a statute of limitations and it is well up....
• Late night talks....
• Cooking together......making pizzas......
• Just being silly little girls who giggled and laughed....
• and towards the end of the week...who fought, cried, and then made nice with each other...

She will be missed.

My thoughts put to paper......or screen...

Why is it that some people have to be such freaking losers. Why do they have to ruin a person's life. Take it away and leave others behind feeling sad, lost, scared, and unsafe. What gives them the right.....why, why, why? Not fair!!!

I went over on Tues and saw my family. Saw those left behind to pick up the pieces from what this asswipe has done. The funeral is Friday, and I'm going sans Murry. I sure don't think she's ready for funerals. Poor kid can't handle the stampede in Lion King, she'd lose it at a funeral.

So yes I'm angry! And yes my sense of security in the world is rocked. I know I can't worry myself crazy, but it just sucks to not even feel like you can let your guard down in your own home. That's supposed to be your soft place to fall. Where you can hang out and just be yourself. I've always been cautious. I lock doors behind me to the point of driving dh insane. I lock him out of the house when he does yardwork...hee hee. I think it's a good habit. I think he thinks it's a fault. He on the other hand forgets to lock the door...which definitely is a fault. He's tons better than he used to be, but sometime I still get up and find a door unlocked which makes my stomach turn.

So now I'm jumping at every noise and looking over my shoulder...which I hate! New houses have different noises, and I think I was getting used to city noises., sort of. I sure don't miss them, however. I wasn't one of those kids who was scared of the dark, so I sure don't like being a grown-up who is. This is just one of the many reasons I do not watch the news. I don't need the downer or the worry that it brings.

Are we living in scarier times? Or are we just more aware of the meaness in the world because we're so connected technology-wise? Can I just make me a bubble and go live in it....doyathink?

Shock...and general suckage

I am still very much in shock (disbelief) about my cousin's death. I cry at sad songs. I cry when I'm super happy. I cry when I'm pms'ing. But I still haven't cried over her death. I don't think I want my baby girl to see me breaking down crying either which may be part of it.

We were first told it was thought to be suicide which honestly just pissed me off. I think it's selfish to do that.

So when I got the news that it's homocide, I figured I might break down, but I haven't yet. I've teared up a few times....mostly thinking about her sweet little girl who will be left behind to deal with life without mommy.

My sweet little Murry has been running a temperature for 2 days. So since we got the news, I've done a lot of sitting and holding her which is good for me right now. I think the 2-year molars may be making an appearance. This is about the same as the first molars. Won't eat, low-grade temp, slightly runny nose, drool everywhere, and clingy like baby koala.