Shock...and general suckage

I am still very much in shock (disbelief) about my cousin's death. I cry at sad songs. I cry when I'm super happy. I cry when I'm pms'ing. But I still haven't cried over her death. I don't think I want my baby girl to see me breaking down crying either which may be part of it.

We were first told it was thought to be suicide which honestly just pissed me off. I think it's selfish to do that.

So when I got the news that it's homocide, I figured I might break down, but I haven't yet. I've teared up a few times....mostly thinking about her sweet little girl who will be left behind to deal with life without mommy.

My sweet little Murry has been running a temperature for 2 days. So since we got the news, I've done a lot of sitting and holding her which is good for me right now. I think the 2-year molars may be making an appearance. This is about the same as the first molars. Won't eat, low-grade temp, slightly runny nose, drool everywhere, and clingy like baby koala.