Tuesday was a wonderful day. Murry was great. She played while I did chores. We played together and hung out with Mom while she painted more on my wall mural. On that very nice Tuesday while we 3 girls were eating lunch, Mom gave Murry a couple cheetos and told her, "Go to town, girl."
Her reply, in a very matter of fact manner, " I am a girl, but I don't need to go to town. Not today."
Then Tuesday evening, she started up acting like a stinker. It finally came out right at bedtime that she was scared/worried/nervous about going to preschool the next day. We talked, we sang. She agreed to go at least 2 days and see what it is all about. Well she went Wed. & Fri. She loves it. She's singing new songs, and being more outgoing. This is good, right?
I know it is. Somewhere in my mind. But a part of me doesn't like the 5 hrs a week that I won't know what she eats for a snack, or who she is hanging out with. I don't like that she says things and I don't know exactly why. I've always been pretty intuned with her since we spend most of our waking hours together. Oh and being on the other side of the whole school thing blows. Here I am turning over my precious daughter and they are rushing me out of the room. Just like I used to do when I was on the teaching side of the classroom door. I do understand, though. I know as a teacher, I tried to make each minute count. You don't have time to hold the parents hands. So we're muddling our way through.
Her doubts came before and mine are coming after. I feel like I'm giving up a part of her that I'll never get back. It may be time, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. She is just 3....barely.
I'm not sure I am ready for her to go to town. Not without me.
Friday, August 24, 2007
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